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Friday, March 26, 2010

There's Nothing Random About My Streams

Atleast from my point of view....

If you've been reading my work for any length of time, you are well aware that bullet points are Satan's attempt to keep my insane.  My bullet points turn into Novels of Consciousness only I understand after the 35th sentence in bullet point #1...

But who cares...I'll keep trying. Why I have this overwhelming addiction to adjectives and verbs, I'll never know.

Because after all....if you don't know the color shirt I was wearing or how many minutes the drive took, you can't fully understand or visualize my story about playing golf on vacation...

In whatever stream of consciousness my brain allows, here's what I've been doing this past month...since I obviously haven't been blogging.

  • I took a selfish-much-needed-anniversary-kidLESS-vacation with my husband
  • We stopped in probably 30 antique shops and played golf. (And I wore a pink polo and khakis)
  • Feeling Naked on the First Tee: An Essential Guide for New Women Golfers
  • Runs With Scissors started gymnastics every Thursday and Loves It!
  • I've started volunteering at church during the week while Hootie is in Mother's Day Out
  • Hoot started MDO...
  • I've plagued my brain with exploring "other" options
  • I've been building another site to encompass tangledeutopia and ALL her multiple personalities
  • I'm really excited that I've kept every single one of these points to one line so far...A New Record
  • My Awesome Church hosted HILLSONG LONDON and it was O-Mazing!
  • Jesus Is
  • I ran out of EVERY single medication except my allergy pills for almost 3 weeks...It wasn't pretty
  • Apparently there was some major brown-nose drama going on at work while on vacation
  • And For Once I wasn't the main subject
  • I've been relishing in the hilarity of words that are starting to come out of my 22 month olds mouth
  • My great-grandma went in the hospital and I was a horrible grandaughter by not visiting everyday
  • 10 Days of SERVOLUTION started yesterday!!!

And now a couple of bullet points I can't contain in one line....

  • I cried the whole way home after a meeting with Runs With Scissors teachers and assistant principal, where I was informed my high-strung, ADHD, alien son.

yeah, that one...

has a Full Scale IQ of 1-3-8. That's ONE HUNDRED THIRTY EIGHT people!!!
Remember, the scale ranges from 40 being mentally retarded to 160 at the other end of the spectrum)

He is in the High Advanced Intelligence Range with a General Intelligence Ability score of 148! Needless to say, the meeting was to accept him into the Intellectually Gifted Program and set up an IEP (Independent Education Plan) which falls under Federal Guidelines of Special Education.

While this made me extremely happy...It was also a huge wake-up call for how easy it is to label our children without meaning to...Miss Talks-A-Lot, who is now 12, has always just been the "Genius" in the family while RWS, who's 8, has been the crazy-can't-sit-still child.

They test all 3rd graders with recommendations by their teachers, so she naturally went through the same process and has been in APEX (our county's name for the Intellectually Gifted Program) since. So I pulled her scores because I didn't remember what her IQ was back then, and it was 119.
(I felt obliged to tell her that a girl's score of 119 is equivalent to about a boy's 140 to make her feel better...

Umm hello? We all know girls are smarter than boys at that age....Well...that age and whatever age a girl gets married including all subsequent ages thereafter. Regardless...I am the Proudest Mama EVER of my 2 smart babies!!
How to Be a Genius

Last, but not least...(my brain is slowing fading away at 3am)

  • Because I bought my house 6 years ago when I was a "single woman" as they put it, I was Totally the victim of predatory lending  and contemplated hiring an attorney to look over all my bank statements and payment history to prove the SCUM-OF-THE-EARTH-BOTTOM-OF-MY-SHOE-SCUMBAGS have not been applying my payments correctly, so every single mortgage payment is whittled away with whatever charge the pull outta their STICK-IT-TO-THE-(JOE)JANE-BLOW-CITIZEN-WHILE-OBAMA-GIVES-US-1.5-BILLION-DOLLARS-FOR-LOAN-MODIFICATIONS-THAT-WE-NEVER-APPROVE-SO-WE-CAN-KEEP-THE-MONEY-AND-PAY-OURSELVES-HUGE-BONUSES-BECAUSE-WE-DON'T-HAVE-TO-DETAIL-HOW-WE-SPEND-THE-MONEY-AND-WE-HAVE-MORE-EXPENSIVE-LAWYERS-THAN-THE-NAIVE-HICKS-WHO-HAVE-STUPID-DREAMS-CALLED-HOME-OWNERSHIP hat.
(Umm, yes...that still qualifies using only ONE bullet point because really? how long did you think I would last with those stupid one-liners?)

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