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Saturday, October 3, 2009

Not ALL Blended Family Love Stories Are Rubbish...

I have the BEST friend anyone could ask for.
And she's having a difficult time right now.
Why you ask?

**Disclaimer For Anyone in the Mum/Mr. Doctor School Family who may be reading this**
Hopefully all my facts are straight. If I stated a date wrong or a time-frame wrong, don't shoot me. The Blogosphere doesn't know it anyway...(And it's close enough)

In a nutshell, her mother, (Mum) is from England, her father from the States. They met in Cypress and married. They had 3 beautiful children but divorced when BFF was 5.

Her dad has a high level civilian security job with...well it's a secret. Noone knows. Atleast I don't.
BFF never really had a relationship with him until she finished school and married which is only a couple of years ago, because he gets stationed at different military bases around the world.  A little tidbit I left out was, BFF's  mum went to nursing school in England where she met a wonderful young man in medical school. (Or as BFF called it....Doctor School) They became very close and he even asked her to marry him.

Shortly after, Mum's muther died and Mum didn't handle it very well. She broke the relationship off and moved to Cypress to further her nursing education to become a midwife, where she met BFF's dad. I should add that during their marriage they moved back to England where BFF and her siblings were born, eventually landing in Minnesota just a short time before the divorce. Mum spent the next 20 years raising her children by herself, completely devoted to them. She never dated! Atleast not that the kids knew...

(Now the juicy part...) Mr. Doctor School in England had almost the exact same life. He married but lived in England, had 3 children, yet stayed married to his wife until roughly 5 years ago. And what does Mr. Doctor School do? He gets on a reunion website sponsored by the Nursing School Mum attended and found someone who thought they knew where Mum was.
 They re-connected and had a long distance relationship before he finally flew Mum back to England for a visit.
It was the beginning of a fairytale romance. Mum was smitten.
Old feelings returned and she started flying out every second or third week.
After 3 years of this, Mr. Doctor School went to his mother and his children to pour out his heart about his love for her and his intention of asking Mum to marry him.

And you know what happened?
His mother still had the original engagement ring!! 

So distraught after the break-up 30 years prior, Mr. Doctor School gave the ENGAGEMENT RING to his mother for safe keeping and she kept it all those years.
Imagine Mum's surprise when he proposed with the same exact ring!

Well this summer, our family vacation wasn't spent going on a cruise or Disney.
It was spent traveling 14 hours with our best friends to watch this sweet couple officially tie the knot after 30 years.

 "So why is BFF upset," you ask?

Mr. Doctor School never left England.
He has his work, and his three children are a bit younger than BFF and her siblings.
All of Mum's family is still in England.
Though she's lived in Minnesota for 20 or so years, they have no family there.

BFF and her sister moved down to Tennessee where I live, to be close to their fathers' family.
BFF's brother went off to the military, leaving Mum alone.

 Her kids are grown, why not move home where all her family is?
And where her new husband is?

BFF is devastated,  Since she moved down here 6 years ago, she's probably visited or been visited by her mum 20 times. She says just the thought of "adding numbers" to the phone number makes her sad.

(Did I mention she and her husband are trying to have their
2nd baby and she's a bit, aaahhhemmmm, emotional?)
Extra numbers??

Geez...On our really long ride home from Minnesota dontchaknow, we discussed our next "blended family" vacation and how it was obviously going to be to visit Mum and Mr. Doctor School in England.

We even daydreamed...that we sold our houses here and all furniture in them and discussed what our 2 cottages on the same land out in the country would look like.)

 Miss Talks-A-Lot got really really excited because she is only 11, but dreams HUGE by talking about attending Oxford for the past 2 years.
(I, by the way, told her she better plant a money tree in those dreams she's having to help fund the bill, to which she replied, "Why? I'm going to get scholarships for everything." )

Do I have an over achiever or what?

 I love her so much and just don't know how to make her feel better.
My mom passed away a couple of years ago, so my thought process isn't as sympathetic as it should be....

I find myself constantly wanting to say, "Uh Hello? Atleast you CAN call your mom."
But that's not very empathetic or sympathetic now is it?

I know this will all work out. I know it's hard having to move away from family. Well, sometimes....

 Dear BFF:

God has you. He knows what He's doing. There's a reason for everything. As much as you are here for me to listen when I groan about my crappy work schedule, my hormones and my Redneck husband...

I'm always here for you to groan about your alive Mum moving away, your own set of hormones,(what? are these things pets? Cuz if they are, I'm takin' mine and surrendering them to the shelter) and your video-loving Geeky Husband.

I love our blended family! I love that we are not related one bit by blood, but we can teach our children that the word family has more than just one meaning. We're gonna be okay!


To See More Photos of Our Minnesota Family Vacation, Go To: