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Friday, September 25, 2009

Shut Yo' Mouth Saturday





What Defines You?
I'm either thinking to hard lately or not able to think at all, I can't tell. I haven't had writer's block and believe me, there's been plenty going on. Changing my sleep schedule has probably most definitely surely altered my thought process. But I've been in this mode lately of research.

And girls let me tell you...Research is not a good word for this OCD chick.
I get stuck on one thing and can't seem to get off!!!

I've been so wrapped up in Me MINE and I lately that the only blog exploring I've done is through my Reader. I came to work tonight with my usual list of things I want to accomplish now that I'm working such a quiet shift, but never really get done, when I yet again got stuck. But this time I got stuck on a blog which led to another blog, which led to 15 more. And I've realized something....

Almost Every Single "ABOUT ME" section of every blog I read, starts off the same way. Oh crap! I didn't go check MY "about me" section to see if I do the same thing here! (I've had to write so many bio's for so many new sites I've joined lately that SCOUTS HONOR, I've been aware of this whole "About Me" issue for a while. So what's my point?

Almost every single one I read starts like this:
"I'm a mom of...."
"I'm a thirty-something mom of....and have a wonderful husband..."
"I am a SAHM of 4 children..."

Do you see where I'm going with this?
Please don't misunderstand me.
I love my children.
 I love my husband. I love my hoarding poodle dog, (except when I find 4 pair of my panties under the babies crib of all places.)
But a long time ago in a church class, someone posed this question: What Defines You?


He went on to say that being a mom, a wife, a runner, a cook, a photographer, a daughter, or a friend is WHAT YOU DO, NOT WHO YOU ARE.
I've never forgotten those words.
What he meant is this:
So many times we subconciously direct our lives down paths
simply by how we perceive ourselves.
Simply by what we tell ourselves over and over.

Does it not make your shoulders feel an instant weight, or your chest systematically tighten when you read the same exact definition of so many mom bloggers over and over?

Sure you relate and sure that comforts you for a time. Yay, she has a screaming toddler who throws yogurt all over the wall. Yay, she can't seem to keep the family room clean either. Yay, she uses the word "crazy" and the word "tired."
But those statements shouldn't comfort us.
It should make us want better for ourselves.
No matter if you are a SAHM, WAHM, or you work outside of the house. (Is there an acromym for that??)
We should define ourselves first by not what we DO, but who we are.

By that I mean, what do you love?
What are your passions?
What were your dreams when you were in the 5th grade before discovering boys?

What BESIDES your husband or your kids, makes you SMILE?

Sweetie, honey, girlfriend....I spend so much of my life "researching" how to make my life less chaotic, my home more organized,(okay clean) my thighs a little skinnier, my diet tons healthier, my skin clearer, my hair shinier, my kids more well behaved, my husband more helpful, my mouth quieter, my coupons less complicated and my body less tired, that I NEVER seem to find the time to IMPLEMENT even half of whatever "A-HA" solution I've found.

I have tons of notebooks that have lists hidden between my daily lists, of every profound statement that "will surely change my life."

It doesn't matter that I have the SAME 24 HOURS as everyone else. We Mom Bloggers who have found a way to vent about how hectic or crazy our lives are, somewhere deep down thrive on being victims and losing ourselves in the name of raising valedictorians of the preschool class.

There are even some crazy moms out there who obviously think even though they have no official training, can teach their kid better at home while still maintaining a spotless house, dinner on the table, 3 mile jog, and sex twice a week with her doting husband. Umm, hello? I get it. There are violence, drugs, and NO GOD in public schools. I get it. I have felt the same way, so I promise I get it.

But do you understand, by us being so consumed with what others think about us, we really truly suffer privately? I'm not saying "don't homeschool." I even Very Recently talked to my own children about that possibility. I'm not saying give up soccer practice, swim lessons, cooking healthy or sex with your husband twice a week.

I'm saying this: STOP OVERWHELMING YOURSELVES JUST TO FEEL VALIDATED.

I'm telling you right now. I DO NOT want the overwhelming workload, the running of my house entails. i would love to have it ALL together. It makes me feel better to vent about my kid throwing yogurt on the wall. And my addiction to self-help media will probably never go away.

But as I'm telling you this, I'm also telling myself the same:

When are we going to STOP. Take a deep breath. Meditate.
Truly put ourselves first.
Honestly validate what makes us who we are?
Stop defining ourselves by what we do or who we do it for, and start doing for ourselves?

Because when I learn to do that, I promise you (and myself), our blogs will become boring for a while because they will not be consumed with trying to impress the blogosphere by our "honest reality" and we will stop ONLY uploading pictures of our spotless kitchens.

Our "ABOUT ME" sections will mysteriously go offline for a few minutes only to come back full of words like "I feel" or "I love" as the beginning and not the end!


**Wanna Join "Shut Yo' Mouth Saturday?"**
Just right click and save my button so you can paste it into your post and get to writin' your own controversy!!!

 Can't wait to read!

http://www.tangledeutopia.com



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