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Monday, July 27, 2009

How To Train A Southern Boy:

Me: "Baby, do we have any chocolate in the house?"

Chief: "Ummm, ice cream sandwiches and fudgecicles."

Me: "Will you split an ice cream sammich wit me?"

Chief: "Sure baby...."

Almost a whole freakin' minute passes.....Okay, really only about 4 seconds, but when a woman wants chocolate, (which honestly doesn't happen to me that often) SHE WANTS IT NOW.....

Since he didn't keep the conversation going.....

Me: "Okay, let me rephrase that."

Chief: "I was waiting on that."

Me: "Will you get up outta your camouflage chair and go get YOU an Ice Cream Sammich so you can split it with me?"

So he hands it to me, the whole time eyeballing it like a vicious dog. Just as I was about to tell him I would break it in half and give it to him NOW, instead of when I actually ate the HALF I wanted, what do I notice in HIS hands? Another Ice Cream Sammich....So why you eyeballin' my homie?

He ate his, I take a bite and blog. He starts gazing my way again.

Chief:"You know you're gonna let it melt if you don't eat that."

Me: "Okay, stop rushin' me."

I eat another bite or two and my chocolate craving is satisfied.
Being lactose intolerant doesn't mean you don't crave the BAD foods, it just means you have to know your limits.
I hand the Ice Cream Sammich over and as he's grinning like a school boy that just looked up a girls' skirt........

Chief: "Damn, a piece fell in my belly button."

Ladies. Ladies that don't live in the south ladies, THIS is what I'm dealing with here.....
Just kidding. It's really not that bad I promise.

Atleast he put it in his spit cup and didn't eat it.........

There IS hope in him yet.

1 comment:

Chanda said...

Oh the spit cup....having grown up with my dad and grandfather and uncles all carrying spit cups around, so glad I married an Aussie :) My cousin once drank out of a Pepsi bottle when she was pregnant, and it was not Pepsi (and no yummy ice cream in it either)....we'll leave that at that!