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Wednesday, May 13, 2009

The List

I was reading some of my favorite blogs tonight, "researching" and realized I've never given my this is where I came from blog. I tend to forget that not everyone who reads my stuff, knows everything that makes me, well, me...
And let me preface this by saying, I'm having a hard time deciding on what to put in my book, and what to blog about. It would be totally redundant of me to inundate you twice. (Notice the confidence I have, of knowing for sure for sure, that EVERYONE is going to buy my book)

I've decided to override Stella (give it time, you'll meet her) because she's the part of me with OCD, and stop over analyzing about how to go about this. I'm just going to list a tiny snippet list of events that have gotten me to here.

~I grew up with a mom, dad, and 2 younger brothers
~I have wonderful wonderful grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins that are all from my mom's
side of the family
~From the time I was 9, my parents moved us kids around every 2 years until I graduated high
school
~I remember, in the 4th grade, my mom took me to the doctor and I weighed 115lbs. The doctor
told my mom that if I stayed that weight, I'd grow up to be a pretty young lady. Umm, really?
Raise your hand if you weigh the same as you did in the freakin' 4th grade?
~My 8th grade year was both the best and worst year of my entire life
~By the time I graduated high school, I weighed 300lbs. 300 miserable fat pounds! So at 19,
I had Gastric Bypass surgery
~Four months later and 70lbs lighter, I met my future husband. Like really close future. We
married 3 months later
~I truly thought when I met him, that he was Mexican and that didn't appeal to me. About a
week later, I found out he was Arabic. I was way to into Skid Row during Desert Storm and
didn't know I was supposed to be scared of him. So we got married
~Seven months after we married, I gave birth to the most beautiful, not even kidding, gorgeous
baby girl in the world. Yeah, I know you're counting....Do the math, it's okay
~I was THE BEST 20 year old wife EVER. (And you wonder where TangledEutopia came from?
I've been one big oxymoron my entire life.) Sorry girls, there's NO WAY you can be a good wife
at 20....
~A couple of Arabic courses and cultural slaps in the face later, I gave birth to the most amazing
alien boy, God EVER created. My sweet little Arab boy.
~Two Ramadans, 130lbs, one vesectomy later, our marriage and my intellectual tour around the
world was over
~I moved the kids into an apartment with my brother and started working on becoming the
coolest (cutest) single mom ever. Well, not really. Well, umm okay that eventually happened
but it took 153 really good jumbo cries and 3 new pillowcases to get there
~My mom died after both she and my dad became secretely addicted to pain meds, my dad lost it, and my brothers got mad at him for losing it
~I made a decision after a couple of years of finding myself, that I was ready to find that good
ol' boy my grandaddy told me I needed, so a girlfriend and I decided to both put the same ad
sans different pictures on Match.com just to see if the same guys would write us both. That
way, we could weed out the losers.
~A bunch of one lunch dates later, I definitely knew what I didn't want, but surprisingly knew
exactly what I did want. I wanted that close to home, teach me how to milk a cow good ol'
boy
~I met him because frankly he wouldn't leave me alone. We talked that first night on the phone
until 4am. By the time he came around, I was so confident, for the first time in my life, that
I knew I wanted to meet him after he spoke his first 3 words. We met the next day in a public
restaurant and ate lunch (well, not really) for 3 hours. I didn't want it to ever end and I did
something I had NEVER done before in my life. I got in my Trailblazer, jumped on the
interstate and before I even made it off the entrance ramp onto the actual interstate, I had
my cell phone in my hand texting him.
~Now it's 1 house, 2 redneck trucks, 3 Lynyrd Skynyrd concerts, 4 kids,(umm, yea, guess
you'll have to buy my book to read about that) and 5 years later and I couldn't be happier. Well, except for that crappy couple of weeks out of every month when
Stella rears her ugly head.

Wonder what years 6 through 50 will bring.........

***Just so you know, there are a thousand other really important things that happened like
being in church my whole life and not hearing God until that ONE day that changed my life
forever and put me on my real journey. My true journey. What God meant for my life, for
my childrens' life, my husbands' life, for my legacy to them. But we all know, I don't talk a
lot, so we'll leave those 1,000 other things for my book.