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Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Letting Go, If Only For A Month

Well, after hours and hours of strife, Miss Talks and her daddy finally boarded their plane and flew off into the sunset. Literally. The sky was beautiful with shades of orange, pink, purple and green all blurred together through my tears. I'm excited for her. I miss her. I missed her before I let go of her. I couldn't kiss her enough, I couldn't squeeze her tight enough. I tried so hard not to cry until she was far enough down the corridor that she couldn't see. Our group just lingered until the tip top of her head was out of sight.

Running With Scissors grabbed my waist and squeezed me as he ever so cleverly said, "Mom, you can't miss her yet because she's not gone yet." He could never understand a mother's heart because he won't miss her for atleast a week. Even then, he will only miss having someone to bug. Only after his initial feeling, will he start to have a tiny speck of an inkling as to how I have been feeling for the past two weeks.

No matter that Sunday I worked a sixteen hour shift getting off at 8am Monday morning, going home to sleep 4 hours before getting up to finish packing her, then leaving at 11pm to drive all night to the passport office in New Orleans by 8am, waiting and sitting 4 1/2 hours for her passport, turning around and driving straight back to the airport to have ten sweet minutes with her, I then had to rush straight back to work, three hours late and work until midnight.

But the alternative, I couldn't bare. If I wouldn't have driven to NOLA, she wouldn't be on the plane with her daddy about to embark on the most magnificent journey of her short beautiful eleven years, thus far.

So you ask: Have the past 3 sleep deprived days been worth it?
And my answer: Every last second.

I love you my sweet baby girl. Carry my words in your heart:
I'm not letting you go, I'm letting you fly

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