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Monday, May 4, 2009

You know how sometimes you're so excited on the inside that you feel like screaming, but you just kinda smile to yourself and keep on going? Well, I am so so so excited. I just registered my domain, so now it's mine mine mine!!! It'll take a day or so, but then you'll be redirected to my new site!!!

I have to admit, I sat at the checkout page for about a minute staring at my index finger. Just my normal over analytical self, pondering my decision. Understanding that once I hit "confirm" I would be moving into a new phase of my life. A new realm where the possibilites are endless and they all depend on me. I'm planning the first part of my long journey to start this afternoon. I'm going to be taking pitures of the kids to send to Jaime so she can work some photoshop magic and turn my sweet faced babies into icons in my new world. I have no idea where my life will go. I had a huge wakeup call last night when my husband and I had a long conversation about my dreams and passions and where they fall into our family structure. I am determined that I can find a way to raise my children to be honest, respectful, intelligent, caring, adults, grow myself into the kind of spouse my husband deserves, all the while NEVER leaving myself and my dreams behind.

I feel overwhelmed sometimes with not knowing exactly the right steps to take and fearing failure. But in the very next breath, I fully know that unless I move, unless I take those chances, unless I fail sometimes, I will NEVER move anywhere. Now if I could just figure out how to sort through the millions of ideas in my head without sounding as unconsistent as I feel!

Just a side note, I am welcoming any and all advice offered. My research is endless and daunting, but my philosophy on that is this: If I write it, I must stick to it......God help me breathe, God be my eyes, my fingers, my heart from this day forward. YOU are smarter than ANY, and you will give me my path. YOU will keep my integrity with all that I write. You will give me the words, the avenues, the wisdom to know what is right. You will instruct every decision I make and I will acknowledge and obey all the signs you leave. Thank you for finally helping me find an outlet for my dream and my passion. Thank you for giving me the courage to do this no matter how many times I feel I must be the only woman, mom, wife, friend, daughter in the world that feels like she is going crazy one week out of every month.

Last but not least, put encouragement in my words and inspiration in my tone for every single person that finds me. I know that this new world of the internet can be powerful, both good and bad. I have faith that I haven't been brought this avenue of communication for bad, but as a means to become the best I can be to do Your work. Thank you for things that haven't yet happened. You know, like grabbing every persons' finger that comes to my site and pushing the button to get me more than just ONE follower....or letting a publishing company stumble across my page and offer me a book deal....ya know, just some suggestions incase you get bored....

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