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Thursday, April 30, 2009

Not gonna post a really long one today. I've been kinda somber today for some reason, well probably 1,000 reasons. Kinda like my neighbor across the street that just had back surgery. The first 2 days, he felt wonderful, but now the good meds have worn off and he's feelin' the real deal! Despite the things that have happened the last couple of days, I've been in a really good mood. The "whatever" has worn off and just feeling a little "less."

I was doing research today for my blog makeover. Trying to find examples of blogs that I liked so I could email them to Jaime, and I accidentally came across a blog by a woman whose baby JUST died of SIDS. I can't seem to shake the words I read. You could tell she is a "tell it like it is from my world" kinda girl, because every fourth word was a swear, but I read past the cuss words and really felt my heart break for this woman. I haven't been able to stop thinking about my children today, and just how lucky I am to have such beautiful healthy kids. I love the blogs I read AND write about the craziness of our house, our life, our busy TANGLED world, but these 3, very significant events that have happened in my world the last couple of days, have really made me stop to think I guess.

1. Watching someone break into my car made me realize I'm very content and passive most of the time. I really should be more aware of my surroundings. Although I could not have prevented what happened unless I was just a little faster in the store, that is hindsight and not something I would have been able to predict. Still with ALL the training I get with my job, I want to become less comfortable with my daily routine.
2. The anniversary of my mom's birthday really really helped me remember that you never know how much time you have. So many things are important to me when it comes to knowing Jesus and making sure my kids know Him. I love the journey I've been on. This imperfect journey makes me keenly aware of where I stand with God, but thinking deeply, there are still things I feel I need to make sure my children, husband, friends, and family all know when it comes to how I feel about them and what I want them to know, because you never truly know when you're leaving.
3. Reading that woman's blog and being fully aware of just how many babies are being beaten at this very moment, being starved, being screamed at or ignored. That was not the case for this woman, by the way, but that probably makes it even harder for me to embrace. The only thing she did, was put her sleeping infant on her bed while he slept. It makes me never want to leave my children. It makes me not want to miss one thing. But my intelligent side knows that isn't rational. You have to remember that your children are people also. To be a good parent, you let them have their independence so they can learn from failure.

And I said it wasn't going to be a long post.........

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