I think starting at the beginning is the only appropriate place. But through lessons learned, my beginning is not where you think. My beginning is today. I feel I have tons of time to explore all those situations that made me who I am today. And the thing is, I won't be this person tomorrow. So first things first. What is consuming my mind today?
The biggest, most important aspect of my life right at this very minute is something that as of yet, I haven't written into words.
Sean and I are expecting our first child together!!!
Just a side note to this whole blogging thing.... the first of many thoughts to come, just came into my head as I was writing that sentence, that with every sentence I write, I have explaining to do.....
I will control my urge to give you every aspect of background leading up to this point, but I will tell you the history of Beth and Sean.
On December 7th 2004, I met who would become the human form of something up to this point, I never believed in. I met my soul mate. At O'Charley's. Which makes you stop and think....
How many people have to say " I met my soul mate at Wal-Mart" or "I met my soul mate in prison".
If you want to get technical, I met him on Match.com
Yea. Wow. Take a deep breath. (not sure if I meant that for you, or for me)
Sometimes it is still hard to say or talk about.
Until I remember that since that day, we have not been apart from each other for more than a couple of days. And that was only once or twice.
So the word "soul mate" still perplexes me. But let me give you some idea of what a "soul mate" does....
I had been away from my starter husband (you'll hear more about him later) for 2 years when I met Sean. My divorce had been final for a year. I had dated some, but just enough to finally be able to tell what I wanted and didn't want.
Sean had been sending me message after message, but I couldn't respond because I didn't pay for the service. One day, the great folks at Match.com sent me an offer to have a free 7 day trial. I knew what I would do. I took the offer just long enough to give him my email address, then cancelled the service. He sent me an email, he gave me his number,(I'm not stupid! I didn't want some crazy lunatic to have my number!) and I called him. We talked from about 9pm until 4am. By that time, I knew I wanted to meet him. I was honest with him. I told him that I was attracted to what he told me, but I would not waste time talking to him if it turned out that I was not physically attracted to him. I have never been into "chatting" online.
So we met the next day at a neutral location. (I knew there were enough people at the restaurant that would call 911 if I needed it).
Without realizing it, we had a 3 hour lunch. And it seemed like the 100th lunch we had eaten together. It was the most natural, relaxed experience I had ever had. From that day forward, we spent every bit of free time we could, building this instant attraction into love.
October 2005, my girlfriend came over unexpectedly and handed me an envelope. In the envelope was a poem. It told me to go to the place we went on our first date. It was a little more specific than that, which let me know where to go. I followed about 8 more of these poems to various parts of the city, finally ending up at the exact O'Charley's we had met at.
But this time, about 30 friends and family members were waiting. When I arrived, he got down on one knee, and asked me to marry him.
We eloped 5 months later on St. Patricks Day 2006.
I was going to try to write the next sentence and had to pause. My first instinct was to write, "and things have been great ever since." But HELLO! This is reality! Man, we have hit some of the craziest bumps! But what I can say is this....
These bumps for the most part, have been over life issues....kids, money,ex's.
These bumps however, have NOT been due to disrespect, lack of love, or meeting in such a crazy way.
I love this man with all my heart. I was so ready to tell whomever came into my life that I had 2 children, and I was not willing to have anymore. But now, almost 3 years later, I can't see going through life and not sharing this wonderful experience with someone I love and care about so much! So, that's it! We are having a baby! I have all the same feelings again. Nervousness, excitedness, impatience, wonderment.