So, the news has finally come out to everyone....almost. I promise I'm not keeping it a secret, I have just been trying to spare some feelings of a friend of mine that just had a miscarriage. But she found out, so its fair game now.
I've had to dig really deep into my closet, (not that I have maternity clothes) to try and find some black pants that fit for work.... That is the worst feeling in the world!!! I don't even have to have maternity pants yet because of the baby!! I have to have them because I came off every "make you skinny, make you sane" medicine I was on, and subsequentally started trying to eat everything in sight! It makes me sick to think I was one size for so many years and now its gone in about 15 Starbucks...(or, 1 month).
I might be exagerating a little on the Starbucks thing, but that's what it feels like!!! I have also quit smoking which is something that has plagued me for a really long time. We're talkin' teenage years ago. I feel so good to be free! Well, almost. I haven't stepped down the patches yet, or come off completely, but everytime i try to smoke one, i can't finish even half! I know there are so many ppl out there, disgusted that I would admit smoking, but there are so many women out there that hide it also.
Well, the point is this.... I have been on this really, really great journey with God lately. Over the past year, and my thoughts and ideas have been evolving. We have been really involved with our church, who in my opinion is the best church EVER! I have come to realize that if you are truly in it to change your mindset, your lifestyle, then you have to realize it is a process. It doesn't happen over night. It has taken me a while and I have a long long way to go in my walk.